December 20, 1999: Barbarians At the Gate

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* Just in time for the holidays: Those Merry Jingles                      *

Well, the trend has been going on for quite some time now.  You know the 
one I'm talking about. The one where musicians with little or no artistic 
integrity sell out one of their songs to some company, who then butcher and
make a catchy slogan out of it for shoe or pop tart commercial. Inevitably,
this new version gets lodged in your head so deep, that lobotomy or death 
are the only options for removing it.  

Think David Bowie (not really one ever known for artistic integrity anyway)
letting Pepsi have their way with Modern Love ("Pepsi Cola. Satisfies me").
Though, I'm still confused about how the heck Pepsi's going to get anyone
to the church on time, but I digress.

Well, it seems that either Eric Clapton has a bit of integrity.  Or, the 
good folks at Pharmacia & Upjohn just wouldn't turn over a big enough wad 
of cash.  Still, we can all either be thankful that we never got to hear 
the following ditty or hope Eric holds out for a better deal one day...

It grows hair.

It grows hair.

It grows hair.


Source:  Alex Poulos

* Maybe not funny but the combination of elements do paint an odd picture *

LONDON  - A naked man brandishing a sword burst into a London church during
a children's service and attacked worshippers. The man entered Saint 
Andrews Church in Thornton Heath, south London, and hacked at the panicked 
congregation until churchgoers overpowered him.  Nine people were wounded, 
three seriously.

Notable quotes in the aftermath:

"[sic]Came through the church's main entrance swinging what looked like a 
sword and jumped up on the pews." -- parishioner Fred Rebello

"It's a very shocking experience wherever it happens, but particularly in 
a church," -- said Father William Agley of St. Andrews Church.
Source: Reuters

* Nine things to think about                                              *

1. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
2. If God dropped acid, would he see people?
3. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
4. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
5. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
6. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of
7. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have
   monkeys and apes?
8. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the
   self-help section?"  She said if she told me, it would defeat the
9. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he
   become disoriented?

Source: George Carlin (via Carmen)

* MOO THINKS:               ' |\___ ---___/|           THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
*                           '  \--/0 0  --/                               *
* "Democracy means simply   '    /       \===================____         *
* the bludgeoning of the    '   |  oo  ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\       *
* people by the people for  '    \_/\_/\                     \\   \\_     *
* the people."              '      ''  |                      |    ~~~\\  *
*                           '           \     _______       _ |        {} *
*         --Oscar Wilde     '            || ||       \   /|| ||           *
*                           '            || ||        ||| || ||           *
*                           '            || ||        ''' || ||           *
*                           '            [] []            [] []   APOULOS *

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