June 3, 1998: Sergeant Spice?

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* Anyone see The Hudsucker Proxy?  When Tim Robbins is given an envelope  *
* that won't fit into the slot and told that he can't fold the envelope?  *

A while back I got a subpoena for jury duty. I received a form to fill out 
and an envelope to send it back in.  The form said I had to send it back in
the envelope, but the envelope was too small.  It also said not to fold the
form.  So I solved the problem by crumpling the form into a little ball and
smashing it flat with a book.

Source:  A submission to the Dilbert Newsletter

* An update on the Spice situation: "Sergeant Rock is going to help me.   *
* Make the girls mine, keep them stood in line." -- XTC (Drums & Wires)   *

"They need a leader. So maybe something like 'Sergeant Spice."'

-- Christina O'Hearn, 11, of New York on what the Spice Girls should do to 
replace Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell.

"Again, invite them to talk about it and don't judge or minimize how they 
are feeling. Try to explain that some things are unfair. Encourage the 
child not to generalize."

-- A psychiatrist on how parents should deal with children upset by the 
Spice Girls situation.

Source: Excite News

* Bad Cops!  Bad Cops!  What you gonna do?  What you gonna do when dey    *
* come for you.  [sung to the tune of Bad Boys]                           *

In July, a judge in Doncaster, South York, England, released Martin Kamara, 
a black man who had been accused of threatening a financial adviser, 
because of police impropriety.  Cops wanted to put Kamara in a lineup for 
identification, but because of recent racial incidents, no black men could 
be found who were willing to stand alongside Kamara.  So, Doncaster police 
hired a makeup artist to put black faces on seven white men for the lineup.
As if that idea doesn't sound quite bad enough, the artist forgot to make 
up the man's hands.

In April, a sheriff's spokesman for Fort Collins, Colorado admitted that 
police officers actually engaged in sex with prostitutes during a January 
sting instead of making the arrest at the point at which the women agreed 
to have sex for money.  Said the spokesman, "The officers thought they 
needed to do what they did to make the case."  And in June, North Carolina 
Alcohol Law Enforcement agents in Jacksonville made similar admissions.   
One agent testified, that he put his fingers on a woman's genitals in order
to "feel it occurring."  Said ALE's lawyer, "If his wasn't the proper role 
of law enforcement, I don't know what is."

Source: News of the Weird

* MOO THINKS:               ' |\___ ---___/|           THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
*                           '  \--/0 0  --/                               *
* "Clothes make the man.    '    /       \===================____         *
*  Nude people have had     '   |  oo  ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\       *
*  little or no influence   '    \_/\_/\                     \\   \\_     *
*  in society."             '      ''  |                      |    ~~~\\  *
*                           '           \     _______       _ |        {} *
*     --Mark Twain          '            || ||       \   /|| ||           *
*                           '            || ||        ||| || ||           *
*                           '            || ||        ''' || ||           *
*                           '            [] []            [] []   APOULOS *

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