December 3, 2001: Scuse Me, Those YOUR Testicles Laying on the Floor?

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* OK, I used last issue to get on my soap box and spread a message I felt *
* needed saying, now it's back to "give the people what they want," which *
* is Sex, Sex and oh yeah, Sex. Oddly, the 1st part relates to 09/11, and *
* goes to show, as I've been saying, this is a great time to live in NYC. *

Sex Eases Pain For New Yorkers: What would you do if you thought that 
the end of the world was nigh?  Well, exactly. Fearing another attack after
the World Trade Centre, New Yorkers are indulging in what commentators have
dubbed "terror sex."

The city's residents, usually a solitary and independent breed, have turned 
for solace to their fellow human beings. For every traumatized New Yorker 
who cannot sleep, it seems that there is another who is cuddling up closer 
to a spouse or lover or embarking wantonly on a one-night stand.

The "terror sex" phenomenon was first identified in the online journal 
"Salon," which reported on a fling by a woman named Sonia on the day of the
attacks. Because the subway was closed, Sonia had to walk nearly ten miles 
to her home to Brooklyn. After watching the news at a bar, she and "friend"
went to roof of her building to watch the smoldering Manhattan skyline. "We
had sex like it was the end of the world and if I could do it over again, 
I still would," she said.

Source: The Times of London

* In advance, my apologies to the men, as this may be hard to get through *

That was quite the birthday present: A man from Pickering (Toronto), 
fresh from his 46th birthday party with friends, returned home to meet his 
live-in girlfriend. But, according to police, his night was far from over.  

The two began to fight, per Sergeant Paul Malik. During the fight the woman
got a hold of her partner's testicles and yanked so hard she tore them from
his scrotum.  Malik added, "That was quite the birthday present he got."

The woman was arrested and charged with aggravated assault.  An injury such
as this is very rare, especially at the bare hands of another person, said 
Philip Klotz, a urologist at St. Michael's Hospital. "It must have been one 
hell of a pull.  I've never seen one and I've been in practice for 50 yrs."

[and just some other lovely little details from our friend the doctor] 

"If the testicles are pulled right off then it's goodbye Charlie, they're 
gone. He's not going to have any testicles. If, on the other hand, the 
scrotum was pulled off and the testicles are intact then its not a big deal
to sew the scrotum back on, depending on how badly it was wrenched off."

Source: Tim Cook

* Ah, vacation sex, the best kind. Well, sometimes. Here's a few vacation * 
* sex stories sent in to a magazine and the life lessons the editors of   * 
* that mag summarized from them.   [oh, and don't start on me, it's free] *

Story: "I had sex with a local woman in Mexico who showed up a month later 
on my doorstep in North Carolina with her three kids - ready to start her 
new life in America."

Lesson: Give all Mexican chicks this address: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue,
Washington, DC 20500

Story: "We were drunken newlyweds doing it on the beach in Hawaii. I went
to pee and came back to find some other dude finishing her off."

Lesson: You married a whore.

Story: "This Dutch woman I met in Chicago kept begging me to spank her 
with the hotel Bible."

Lesson: Sometimes, when it's your turn, you gotta do the lord's bidding.

Story: "I met this hot girl in Japan who game me a great blowjob and was
very sweet.  But then, I found out that she was a he! Thank god this is 
anonymous." -- Harold B., San Rafael, CA

Lesson: Never trust strange men who edit stupid magazines late at night.

Source: Stuff magazine

* MOO THINKS:               ' |\___ ---___/|           THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
*                           '  \--/0 0  --/                               *
* "Love is the answer, but  '    /       \===================____         *
* while you're waiting for  '   |  oo  ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\       *
* the answer sex raises     '    \_/\_/\                     \\   \\_     *
* some pretty good          '      ''  |                      |    ~~~\\  *
* questions."               '           \     _______       _ |        {} *
*                           '            || ||       \   /|| ||           *
*         --Woody Allen     '            || ||        ||| || ||           *
*                           '            || ||        ''' || ||           *
*                           '            [] []            [] []   APOULOS *

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