Archive THOSE WHO MAY CARE
August 2, 1997: That Thing You Do

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* Ten Surefire Ways to Make Friends & Influence People                   *
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+ In the memo field of all your checks write "thanks for last night."

+ If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while 
talking to others.

+ Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

+ Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to 
your boss.

+ Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

+ Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

+ Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

+ As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

+ Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your 
chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

+ While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Source: [unknown] via Ginny Sun


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* In the words of the immortal Mojo Nixon .. "Where the Hell's My Money" *
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Last July, Pepsi Cola was sued by a Lynnwood, Mass., man who took seriously 
the company's light-hearted offer to redeem 7 million premium points for a 
Harrier Jet Fighter in a "Pepsi Stuff" promotion.

Last August, a federal appeals court in St. Louis forced Nationwide 
Insurance Co. to award a slogan-contest-winning ex-employee "his-and-hers" 
Mercedes Benzes despite the company's claim that it was "just kidding."

Also last July, David Lee filed a lawsuit against the Cafe Santa Fe in 
Rogers, Ark., after it denied him a Kawasaki Jet Ski because he failed to 
write a reason why he liked a certain menu item on his prize-winning entry 
form.  Lee contends that the required "25 words or less" includes "zero 
words."

Source:  News of the Weird


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* Slackers need not apply                                                *
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From a careers ad for an art editor at Neon magazine in London, England:  
"You'll need to know how to make a magazine look accessible without making 
it look like you found it on an airplane and how to make it look cool 
without making it look like an explosion in an explosion factory.  The 
successful applicant will have to be almost comically adaptable, as 
comfortable creating a layout in the style of a telephone book as they are 
working on the cover of a porn issue ... Above all, you will need to get on 
well with a group of people widely disliked by others who work in their 
building."

Source:  Vancouver Sun


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* MOO THINKS:              ' |\___ ---___/|           THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
*                          '  \--/0 0  --/                               *
*  "This is why we do what '    /       \===================____         *
*  we do and they do what  '   |  oo  ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\       *
*  they do."               '    \_/\_/\                     \\   \\_     *
*                          '      ''  |                      |    ~~~\\  *
*  --Euler V. Uy, after    '           \     _______       _ |        {} *
*  receiving an envelope   '            || ||       \   /|| ||           *
*  addressed to him @ ..   '            || ||        ||| || ||           *
* "Price Space Waterhouse" '            || ||        ''' || ||           *
*                          '            [] []            [] []   APOULOS *
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