Archive THOSE WHO MAY CARE
January 13, 1997: Mariah Carey Speaks

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* That Crazy Little Thing Called Love                                    *
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Las October, Linda Pugach bailed her husband Burton out of jail after his 
arrest for threatening to kill his mistress.  She and Burton go way back.  
In 1959, he blinded her in both eyes in a lye attack spurred on by her 
rejection of his marriage proposal.  In 1974, he was released from prison 
and went on a TV-show campaign to win her over.  It worked, she married him 
a few months later.  In response to a reporter on the latest issue, Linda 
replied, "Did you call Hillary and ask her how she feels?"

Source:  Unknown


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* Top Ten Warning Signs That You Don't Have Enough To Do at Work         *
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10> You find yourself looking forward to your next random drug test.
 9> You've already read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar for 1997.
 8> The only activity on your calendar?  Tuesday/8:00am -- Discuss Melrose
    Place at the water cooler.
 7> You discover that staring at Moo long enough produces image of Elvis.
 6> You've actually figured out a way to get Gilligan off that island.
 5> You wake up, fix Tipper her breakfast and kiss her goodbye, then go 
    back to bed.
 4> Your employer lets you listen in on his calls from the president.
 3> You *knew* that guy who hired you to find his wife's killer looked 
    familiar.
 2> No longer content with merely photo-copying your ass, you now scan it 
    and enhance it with Photoshop.

 ... and the Number 1 Sign You Have Nothing to Do at Work...

 1> Your title?  Hooters Employee Continuing Education Coordinator.

Source:  Costanza (not George)


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* Based on her name, I must ask "What type of sex where they having?"    *
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Los Angeles county authorities decided not to charge Texan Robert Salazar 
in the death of his employee Sandra Orellana, who fell from the eighth floor 
balcony at the Industry Hills Sheraton, where the two were staying during a 
business conference.  Salazar said Orellana fell accidentally as the two were 
having sex braced on a handrail and she changed positions.

Source:  Those Who May Care


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* MOO THINKS:             ' |\___ ---___/|            THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
* "When I watch TV and    '  \--/0 0  --/                                *
* see those poor, starving'    /       \===================____          *
* kids all over the world,'   |  oo  ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\        *
* I can't help but cry.   '    \_/\_/\                     \\   \\_      *
* I mean, I'd love to be  '      ''  |                      |    ~~~\\   *
* skinny like that, but   '           \     _______       _ |        {}  *
* not with all those flies'            || ||       \   /|| ||            *
* and death and stuff.    '            || ||        ||| || ||            *
*        -Mariah Carey    '            || ||        ''' || ||            *
*                         '            [] []            [] []    APOULOS *
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