Archive THOSE WHO MAY CARE
October 30, 1996: Something Else

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* Warning:  The visual imagery of the below item may be overwhelming ... *
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I am a 43-year-old woman who has recently met the most incredible man.   
When he goes down on me, I have the most wonderful orgasms, but I weigh 
300 pounds and I'm concerned because when I climax, I squeeze my legs 
together.  I have squeezed so hard that at times he has complained that 
his ears hurt afterward.  He still continues to please me this way, but 
I'm afraid I might burst his eardrums  I've tried to let him up when I 
start to climax but it ruins it, so he stays between my legs until 
I'm finished.  Do you think I could damage his ears.

Source:  Farifield County Reader's Ask Isadora Column


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*    Modernizing the Classics:  With Hollywood now rediscovering all the *
* classic works of literature and, as a result, "dumbing them down" to   *
* make them more palatable, the trend is shifting to written form as     *
* well.  Below, is a sample of what one may expect on the bookshelves.   *
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Ulysses (with apologies to every valley girl who ever read Joyce):

... and I thought well, you know, it might as well be him as some other 
guy and then I asked him if he'd like ask me again, and so he asked me 
again, and so he asked me, and I like grabbed him, yeah, and pulled him 
down so he could hold me, yeah, all perfumed and stuff, and his heart was 
going like a jackhammer, and yeah, I said, yeah I wanna, yeah.

Source:  NY Times Magazine


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* This really isn't all that funny  ...                                  *
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During a Tirana, Albania, divorce hearing in July, in which a man 
contending that his wife beat him regularly over the course of their two-
year union, the wife suddenly leaped at the man and beat him unconscious 
before she was restrained.  The judge quickly granted the divorce.

Source:  News of the Weird


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