Archive THOSE WHO MAY CARE
July 9, 1996: Do Not Distribute to Children

Back One Back Home Feedback

**************************************************************************
*   Dating Guide:  What they say - What they mean                        *
**************************************************************************

Did you come?                       -    Cause, I sure as hell didn't.

I have something to tell you.       -    Get tested.

We need to talk.                    -    I'm pregnant.

I had a wonderful time last night.  -    Who the hell are you?

I think we should see other people. -    I have been seeing other people.

I still think about you.            -    I miss the sex.

You're so mature.                   -    I hope to God you're eighteen.

Source: GS


**************************************************************************
*   And what exactly is it you do ..  Mr. ..  Sammy, isn't it?           *
**************************************************************************

May 14--The town of Merrillville is staging of an old-fashioned carnival 
sideshow featuring people with deformities.   This has triggered a heated 
reaction from some disabled people in Northwest Indiana.  They have called
the show exploitive and insensitive and vowed to try to cancel it.   And 
what are the 6800 expected fans paying to see?  "It's an honest to god 
freak show," say organizers.   The attractions will include: 

 -- Sammy The Salami, who twists his penis into knots.
 -- The Block Head, who will pound an ice pick into his forehead.
 -- The Human Pin Cushion, who will stick needles through his arms.
 -- The Penguin Boy, who was born without arms and legs, but has 
    sprouted fingers and toes from parts of his body. 
 -- A cancer patient who will stick his tongue out of his eye sockets.
 
Source: Mark Taylor, Post-Tribune, Gary, Ind. 


**************************************************************************
*  Morbid, yet delicately unbalancing enough to be humorous              *
**************************************************************************

According to 911 tape played at his preliminary hearing in Las Vegas in 
March, Roy Holloway called an emergency operator because he was frustrated
at his inability to kill his wife.  Said he, to the operator, "I've tried 
to strangle her about four different ways.  She won't die."  Asked the 
operator, "Why are you trying to kill her?"  "Because I don't like her," 
said Holloway on the tape.  "Why not just divorce her?  Isn't that easier 
than trying to kill her?" "But she won't die. [G]od, she keeps breathing."

Source: News of the Weird


**************************************************************************
* THOSE WHO MAY CARE                 |\__ --- ___/|     MOO THINKS:      *
*                                    \--  0  0\--/                       *
*         ____  =====================/         \   "He asks a girl, if   *
*        // --//''''''''''''''''''''     _  oo  |   they can both sit    *
*     __//   //                         / \_/\_/    in a chair.  But,    *
*   //~~~    |                          |   ''      he doesn't get       *
*   {}       | _  _     __________     /            nervous, she's not   *
*            || || \   /          || ||             really there."       *
*            || ||  |||           || ||                       -TMBG      *
*            || ||  '''           || ||                                  *
*            [] []                [] []                         - Alex P *
**************************************************************************

Back One Back Home

website
statistics