July 3, 1996: The Welfare Hotel

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* Hoteling Summarized (You PW folks should love this)                    *

The only drawback to the cubicle-oriented office is that some employees 
develop a sense of "home" in their little patch of real estate.  Soon 
pride of ownership sets in, then self-esteem, and poof -- good-bye 

But thanks to the new concept of "hoteling," this risk can be eliminated. 
Hoteling is a system by which cubicles are assigned to the employees as 
they show up each day.  Nobody gets a permanent work space, and therefore 
no unproductive homey feelings develop.

Another advantage: Hoteling eliminates all physical evidence of the 
employee's association with the company.  This takes the fuss out of 
down-sizing:  the employee doesn't even have to clean out a desk.  With 
hoteling, every employee has "one foot out the door" at all times.

Hoteling sends an important message to the employee:  "Your employment is 
temporary.  Keep your photos of your ugly family in the trunk of your car 
so we don't have to look at them."

Source: The Dilbert Principle, by Scott Adams

* Well, the pigeons have done it and New Yorkers are still trying        *

A full page of letters from readers in a September issue of New Scientist 
magazine reported sightings by London, England, tube [that's subway for 
Americans] riders who say they saw pigeons board, and disembark from, 
subway cars in "purposeful" way that suggest they have figured out where 
they are going.

Source: News of the Weird

*   The following are taken from actual letters received by the Welfare  *
* Department in applications for support (in other words, true)          *

1.  I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children.  I had seven 
but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.

2.  I am writing the welfare department to say that my baby was born two 
years old. When do I get my money?

3.  Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for two years and has been visited 
regularly by the clergy.

4.  I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?

5.  This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.

6.  I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son 
illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was 

7.  I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which 
is a mistake as you can see.

8.  Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead 
an immortal life.

9.  I want money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with the 
doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't 
improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

Source:  Ginny 

* THOSE WHO MAY CARE                 |\__ --- ___/|     MOO THINKS:      *
*                                    \--  0  0\--/                       *
*         ____  =====================/         \   "What's the sense in  *
*        // --//''''''''''''''''''''     _  oo  |   ever thinking about  *
*     __//   //                         / \_/\_/    the tomb.  When      *
*   //~~~    |                          |   ''      you're much too      *
*   {}       | _  _     __________     /            busy returning to    *
*            || || \   /          || ||             the womb."           *
*            || ||  |||           || ||                        -TMBG     *
*            || ||  '''           || ||                                  *
*            [] []                [] []                         - Alex P *

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